Learning to Linger
The longer I’m in ministry the more I see the power of lingering. Let me explain. Often we want to move past something that is uncomfortable. In ministry there are many uncomfortable conversations we (should) have with people. I find myself often wanting to move through these quickly, but when I am with seasoned ministers I watch them linger in the tension these questions and conversations bring. They seem unaffected when everyone else is obviously uncomfortable. However, I’ve seen them wait as the brevity of the situation sets in, and people begin to open up. My gut is telling me to say something so the situation doesn’t erupt, but that’s usually right before we round a corner in the situation.
I’ve also seen more experienced ministers linger in a hospital room or funeral home. They don’t have some powerful statement to make. They just comfort people with their presence and prayer. Hospital rooms and funeral homes are not places most people like to spend time. As ministers we must be ready to linger in places of pain and sorrow for the sake of those who are hurting.
The most obvious place I’ve seen ministers linger is in church. They aren’t always the last to leave, but they aren’t in a rush to get out of the place. They understand that community is happening right after a church service many times. Some pastors take visitors to lunch at their house or a local restaurant following a service. others may invite people to meet at a restaurant or coffee shop following a service or activity. We have seen many more people trust Christ after a service, as opposed to during an invitation.
Lingering is a powerful tool that can seem simple, but is actually quite complex. I have to force myself to allow the conversation to get uncomfortable without letting on that I’m uncomfortable. People actually want us to minister to them in a complete way (including dealing with sin) more than we may think. I’ve found that awkward silence (even in a message) can be quite powerful when we allow ourselves to linger in it.